Pool "opens" Saturday, and no matter how many times I have done this, it is always stressful at the beginning of pool season, with this year posing its own set of new challenges:
-The threat of broken bones: Last summer, I took my eyes off Ana, and she broke her tibia on the diving board, and now it is time for me to let her get back on the horse. Clearly, this will amount to a severe nervous condition for me.
-The urgent need for canned chili: There was a chili cheese dog from the snack bar per day per member of the family Those dogs don't come cheap, but they do count as dinner if bought after 4 pm. However, I do need to budget for all this snack bar activity, as last year it wiped out my personal slush fund, also known as coffee money. This should be avoided at all costs.
-The urgent need to protect red heads even in the shade: Last summer, Mary Kate defied all SPF research. Therefore, this week, I must locate SPF 350, and I must find a floaty baby thingie with a large canopy for the newest of my translucent children.
-The urgent need for swimwear that fits: Mary Kate's bathing suit from last year now stretches over her like a weightlifter's leotard...pictured here... And then there is my no longer being able to play the pregnancy card: rubbing my stomach and tilting my head all coy, "I'm expecting." Now I get to rub my belly and say, "Hot dogs are good." So, I need a new suit; I believe they call them "Miracle Suits," and I am going to need a major intercession...
-The threat of broken bones: Last summer, I took my eyes off Ana, and she broke her tibia on the diving board, and now it is time for me to let her get back on the horse. Clearly, this will amount to a severe nervous condition for me.
-The urgent need for canned chili: There was a chili cheese dog from the snack bar per day per member of the family Those dogs don't come cheap, but they do count as dinner if bought after 4 pm. However, I do need to budget for all this snack bar activity, as last year it wiped out my personal slush fund, also known as coffee money. This should be avoided at all costs.
-The urgent need to protect red heads even in the shade: Last summer, Mary Kate defied all SPF research. Therefore, this week, I must locate SPF 350, and I must find a floaty baby thingie with a large canopy for the newest of my translucent children.
-The urgent need for swimwear that fits: Mary Kate's bathing suit from last year now stretches over her like a weightlifter's leotard...pictured here... And then there is my no longer being able to play the pregnancy card: rubbing my stomach and tilting my head all coy, "I'm expecting." Now I get to rub my belly and say, "Hot dogs are good." So, I need a new suit; I believe they call them "Miracle Suits," and I am going to need a major intercession...
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